Ex is blackmailing me with intimate videos — says he'll send to my parents unless I pay

Your ex has intimate videos of you and they're using them as leverage. Pay up, or they'll send them to your parents, your boss, your friends. This isn't a vague threat from a stranger overseas — this is someone who knows you, knows your family, knows exactly how to hurt you.

This is a crime. In virtually every state, what your ex is doing qualifies as extortion, blackmail, or both — regardless of how the videos were originally made.1 You have real legal protections and real options. Don't let fear keep you from using them.

When a stranger sextorts you, they're running a numbers game and usually move on. When an ex does it, the dynamics are fundamentally different. They have real access to your life — your family's contact info, your workplace, your social circles. The threat feels more credible because it is more personal.

But this personal connection is also their weakness. An ex-partner can be identified, reported to police, served with a restraining order, and prosecuted. Anonymous scammers can't.

You are protected by multiple layers of law:2

Even in the worst-case scenario, you have strong options for removal:

DMCA takedowns work for any content where you own the copyright (including selfies and self-recorded videos). Platforms are legally required to remove content upon receiving a valid notice.

Platform reporting — every major platform has a dedicated NCII reporting process that moves faster than standard content moderation.

Google removal requests — Google will remove intimate images shared without consent from search results, even if the hosting site doesn't take them down.