Ex distributed my nudes to my family group chat — I'm freaking out

Capture the group chat messages, the images/videos your ex sent, timestamps, and their contact info in the chat. Screenshot the group member list too. Email the screenshots to yourself for backup.

Anything you say can be used against you later. Do not threaten, do not beg them to delete it, do not engage at all. Silence is your strongest position right now.

Pick one person in the chat you trust most. Ask them to help you coordinate with other family members to not share the images further and to preserve their copies as evidence.

Once you have all the evidence captured, you can leave the group chat if staying in it is causing you distress. But only after documentation is complete.

Open the chat → tap your ex's message → Report. WhatsApp will receive the reported message plus the 5 messages before it for context. Also go to Settings → Help → Contact Us and describe the situation as non-consensual intimate image sharing.

Apple does not have a direct in-app reporting mechanism for iMessage content, but you can report to Apple via apple.com/legal/internet-services/contact. iMessage content lives on each recipient's device — you'll need to ask family members to delete it and focus your efforts on law enforcement.

Tap the message → Report → select Non-Consensual Intimate Image. Meta has a dedicated NCII review team that processes these reports within 24 hours. Also file through Meta's NCII reporting form at facebook.com/help/contact/567360146613371.

Tap and hold the message → Report → select Violence or Pornography. Telegram's moderation is slower than other platforms, but they do act on NCII reports. Also email abuse@telegram.org with screenshots and context.

Call or meet with the family member you're closest to. Tell them what happened, that it's a crime, and that you need their support. Ask them to help you talk to the rest of the family.

You can say: "[Ex's name] shared intimate images of me without my consent. This is a crime called revenge porn. I'm handling it with law enforcement. I need everyone to delete the images and not share them further."

Request that each family member delete the images from their device and any cloud backups (iCloud, Google Photos). Make this request explicitly — don't assume they'll do it on their own.

You get to decide how much you discuss. "I don't want to talk about the images themselves. I want to talk about what I need from you right now." That's a complete sentence.

Screenshots of the group chat with timestamps, your ex's phone number and any known addresses, any threatening or coercive messages from your ex (before and after the incident), and a list of family members who received the images.

Ask to file a report for non-consensual distribution of intimate images (use your state's specific terminology). If the officer seems unfamiliar, reference your state's revenge porn statute by name — you can find it at cybercivilrights.org.1

Get the case number and the investigating officer's name and badge number. You'll need these for the restraining order and any platform reports that ask for a police report reference.

In many states, NCII distribution qualifies for an emergency protective order or restraining order. Some jurisdictions can issue these same-day.

Go to your local courthouse. Many states have expedited processes for NCII-related protective orders. Some can be granted the same day without your ex being present (ex parte).

Make sure the order explicitly prohibits distribution, sharing, or displaying intimate images of you. Generic restraining orders may not cover digital content sharing unless it's specified.

This prevents your ex from contacting you through any means — phone, text, social media, email, and through third parties. Violation is an arrestable offense.

If your ex violates the order — even a single text message — report it to police immediately. Violations of protective orders carry their own criminal penalties.

This free tool creates a digital fingerprint (hash) of your intimate images without uploading them anywhere. Participating platforms — including Meta, TikTok, Reddit, Bumble, and others — automatically block any upload matching that hash.5

Create alerts for your full name, variations of your name, and your name combined with your city. This catches new content appearing in search results.

Google allows removal of non-consensual intimate imagery from search results. File a request through their content removal tool so the images don't appear when someone searches your name.

Automated monitoring tools can scan the web, social platforms, and known revenge porn sites continuously — catching content that Google Alerts might miss, especially on platforms that aren't indexed by search engines.